Sorry for the delay in posting (Ben, especially), but its not exactly easy to find a wirless computer while free-falling from a building. Neverthelss, I succeeded and am now posting.

Falling in the air, I felt a strange mix of pain, self-pity and then more pain. Evidence showed that not only free-falling can bring about this curious sensation, but a night with George Bush could yield similar results too. There was nothing much to do other than to bite my nails and rub myself. However, after a few minutes, I was out of nails and out of body-heat, and thus I began to remininsce about my past...

I was enrolled into the famous Prick's institution for the Horny. On my first day, I had to undergo a test involving a bed, romantic atmosphere, and an unusually hairy man. I passed with flying colours. Therefore, I was given the nickname of Mr Hard. I was glad that they took notice of my abnormally hard and huge...feet and accepted the title joyously. Following that, I was ushered into a huge classroom. The teacher, Ms Phuck, came to meet me. I introduced myself.

'Miss Phuck, I am Hard'

One of my classmates laughed and suddenly the whole class burst out laughing. Sighing contently at having such friendly and bubbly classmates, I hurried over to find a seat and also to find out what the joke was. Over the course of the year, I made many new friends and changed many bedsheets. However, some of my friends were more memorable and I shall tell you about them in my next posts. They were usually the ones who stained the most bedsheets. Yea...Mary.

Damn this is a tall building...